Insensitivity

I’m the meanest, most insensitive person who’s ever walked this planet

Not So Great Expectations

Expectations are nothing more than hypotheses we test in an effort to meet our needs. It may not be insane to do the same thing over and over again expecting a different result, but it’s certainly not efficient.


Showing Up for Well-Being

In the past seven days, I showed up at three different social events posted on meetup.com so that I could write about the challenge of showing up and why that challenge was so essential to my sense of well-being.


Gift of Thank You!

What should you get your friends and co-workers this holiday season? How about something they’ll thank you for by returning or re-gifting it?


One Belief at a Time

“A thought is harmless unless we believe it. It is not our thoughts, but the attachment to our thoughts, that causes suffering. Attaching to a thought means believing that it’s true, without inquiring. A belief is a thought that we’ve been attaching to, often for years.” – Byron Katie


Fear of Being Unmasked

We think of our personality as our distinctive character. But the Latin root word, persona, means the mask through which an actor speaks. Like Halloween masks, our personality conceals who we really are. And we live in fear of being unmasked.


Text Anxiety

One Saturday afternoon I checked my texts and emails to find a message that couldn’t have been better engineered to evoke social anxiety!


Four Key Concepts for More Loving Relationships

In A Midsummer Night’s Dream, Shakespeare’s character Lysander says, “The course of true love never did run smooth.” How well we negotiate relationships can mean the difference between depression and well-being. Susan Piver’s new book The Four Noble Truths of Love helps us navigate that course.


Holiday Conversations

I was impressed by how effective this year’s political campaigns were at creating division and fear. As we come together with friends and family of all political stripes over the holidays, what would happen if we analyzed how politicians behaved and did the opposite? Would our conversations create connection and trust?


Help to Make it Through the Night

On two successive Friday evenings I found myself lured toward depression by an inner voice that sounded very much like self compassion. My challenges on these two evenings helped me recognize the importance of spotting depression’s early warning signs and developing strategies to keep the beast at bay.


FAIR Consent

Practicing FAIR consent is a powerful tool for reducing unwanted sexual interactions. Practicing consent in everyday life can lead to richer, more rewarding relationships and emotional resilience.


Why Intention is Greater Than Outcome

On Saturday morning I felt let down, a little sorry for myself, and that what I was doing was a waste of time. In other words, I forgot the equation: Intention > Outcome.


Four Key Concepts for More Loving Relationships

In A Midsummer Night’s Dream, Shakespeare’s character Lysander says, “The course of true love never did run smooth.” How well we negotiate relationships can mean the difference between depression and well-being. Susan Piver’s new book The Four Noble Truths of Love helps us navigate that course.


Thankless-giving vs. Genuine Gratitude

Gratitude is a highly effective antidote to negative moods and mind-states. But, when we’re expected to be grateful for things we’re not, it can backfire.


Self-Compassion or Self-Sabotage?

“If I am not for myself, then who will be for me? If not now, when?” –Rabbi Hillel.

If the quote that starts off the Self-Compassion Chapter of psychologist Dr. Rick Hanson’s book Resilience makes you a little self-conscious, you’re not alone.


Investigating Our Values

“There is no right or wrong, no good or bad, when it comes to values. What you value is what you value—end of story!” writes Russ Harris in The Happiness Trap: How to Stop Struggling and Start Living: A Guide to ACT. But, living our values can lead us either to depression or to well-being.


7 Shocking Links Between Sleep and Depression

Shortly after you were born, your mother had a shocking conversation with her doctor about your unusual sleep habits.


The Evolution of Social Anxiety

Feelings of social anxiety are very real, but thanks to our ancestors, they’re not very reliable.


A Friendly Antidote to Depression

The topic of an antidote to depression came up on a recent episode of the 10% Happier with Dan Harris podcast in a friendly way.


How to Reboot Your Ego

I once laughed at a bumper sticker that read “Reality is for people who can’t handle drugs.” A Fresh Air interview with Michael Pollan about his book How To Change Your Mind convinces me that ego is for people who can’t handle reality.


Getting Annoyed with Other People’s Opinions

Getting annoyed with others people’s opinions is one of the stresses of daily life that I’ve resolved to let go of as a New Year’s resolution. So far, I’m not doing so well. Here’s how I plan to do better.


You May Be Right

“Here lies the body of William Jay,
Who died maintaining his right of way –
He was right, dead right, as he sped along,
But he’s just as dead as if he were wrong.”–Dale Carnegie


Would You Like a Hug?

We don’t become depressed because antidepressants are missing from our daily diet, but a shortage of hugs can lead to anxiety, depression, and worse.


A Meaningless Meaningful Olympic Moment

An underrated aspect of depression is a prevailing sense that life is meaningless. When used the right way, this key insight can lead to mental well-being, inner peace, and outward empathy.


Thoughtful Giving

Assuming that it’s the thought that counts, how should we think about gift giving so that the thought doesn’t lead to holiday stress?


Judgment Mind at the Movies

Though I started watching the Academy Awards when I was a little kid, I don’t know if I ever enjoyed it. Looking at the experience through the lens of well-being and depression, I think it reveals a lot about how judgment mind makes us enjoy things less.